Samm’s 1st Monologue

This is a monologue I wrote recently. It’s from one of my own favourite characters. It couldn’t be a story like it was original planned to be but I hope you like it and her. She is like one of my best friends as far as characters go. We were kinda talking, like you and your characters do, if you’re that type of writer, when this came into existence and we both wanted to write it. I am that kind of writer who lets the character speak and tell the story and the writes it down for other to hear. I hope you like it. We do! And, yes, she shares the name with this blog. It’s not a coincidence, it’s just hard to explain. Xx


(The lights come up, basic wash of thoughtful and reflective gentle colour, on Samm. She is older teenage and has wavy, blonde hair. She is sat cuddled up knees to chest on the DSR. She stands before she starts to speak.)

Samm: [Almost as if its to herself] Some days I just sit so I can try to imagine what it would be like to fly. Would it be as free and calming as I imagine or would it freak me out so much I panicked. If I cried out, in my angst, would I crash into things or would I just drop like a stone to the ground, like in Peter Pan where you need to think happy thoughts. Other days I wonder what it would be like to be able to run as fast a cheetah; to swim for as long or as deep as a whale; to be as light as air; to be as constant as light from the sun. However by far my most desperate wish is to be able to leave this place. [realising how that sounds] No. No not like I want to die. I don’t mean that just not to live on this planet. That makes me sound weird too I know [giggling] like I want to be a Martian. I don’t mean it like THAT either. I want to see a whole new place [almost bursting into song before changing the last word] a whole new life. You know the sorts. You read about them in books: adventures, fairies, dragons, boy wizards, fights to the death, teenagers like me fighting in wars for what is right. I’ve always believed in the statement ‘ If you wish for long enough and hard enough you can succeed.’ but the problem with that is, it makes it seem like all need is a wish and a prayer. It is like that, it requires work to change your story. Adults always say ‘have realistic dreams’. That’s just a bit stupid too. When you first start out all dreams are unrealistic that’s why they call them dreams not plans. [sigh] What I think my ordinary life misses [pauses and is unsure as she finishes] is an adventure. [in a rush the next word fall out before she can stop them her actions are erratic and stressed] Maybe I was born to live this life because it’s what I can cope with. But what can I cope with? I can’t know that. I’m too young and my adventure hasn’t begun and everything is so big and so scary. How could I know things [breaking down] like….that? [sighs, a sob, then after a breath] Am I just dreaming too big and too soon?

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I am Bethie (working title)

I’ve been wondering recently whether being so young it will affect me in any way when I go next week.

He scares me a little but I love him.

I was wondering, Bessie, why I have to go and see him but at the same time, I want to go and see him.

Do you ever feel like this?

In the last few months I’ve been questioning whether or not you know who I am and how I think.

You live with me, are with me everyday, all the time but you never seem to know who I am.

I love you so much and I thought you would  be able to help me .

Perhaps not…

If something bad happens I want you to know it’s all your fault. 

However at the same time I want you to know I love you do much and I am glad your around.

All my love

Bethie

Chapter 1

Ink…ink…spilling …spilling, almost as if it came straight from my heart…spilling on my paper. I couldn’t stop it. When I started I couldn’t stop. Please help me…

I’m so scared off him and I may seem odd but needing my friends is an issue for me. It’s very hard to carry on when your live-in best friend doesn’t really understand you. I love Bessie so much. She’s caring, loving, funny and when it’s needed so perfectly innocent and random. She does however still make me wonder…wonder why I try. She is also arrogant, snarky, bitchy, a complete and utter pain in the arse but I love her still. My other friends don’t know about Bessie. Why should they? If she want to stay hidden she’s welcome to because she is a real life stealer. I introduced her to my first “boyfriend” when I was 13 and she cuddled up to him then took over completely. Before long  I wasn’t Bethie I was Bessie. I would say something and he would either pretend it was Bessie or ignore entirely. I wondered if she’s really my friend or just my “friend” (like he wasn’t a boyfriend just my “boyfriend”) that I couldn’t shake like she’s my shadow. Even though she puts me through so much I still love her.

 

 

Hillfall B

I wrote this about half a year ago and thought it was time I published it. It’s not finished anywhere from but it’s just a short story’s start:

“Sector B to base, Sector B to base…”

Just from that I can tell today will be exactly the same as the other 31281  days of this mission. You would think as Sector B we would instantly pass to get to talk to base. We sound like the most important second only to the base itself. Actually we, of all the areas in this place, are as far from important as possible. We never get  conversation or even contact with base. Sector B of the Hillfall Neverside. That’s us!

“Sector B to base, Sector B to base…” Nothing, as per usual.